‼️ ALLEGED - Police investigate suspected hate crime in smalltown graffiti

🧒 KIDS THESE DAYS - Teens rip off Muslim woman's hijab in violent Pizza Pizza swarming

🔪 CRIME - Stabber wreaks havoc in Calgary Stampede Midway

Good morning. And welcome to our 12th weekly edition.  

I hate to break it to you, but the youth are up to no good—again.

This time, they’re committing hate crimes against both Jews and Muslims. 

Experts are calling it “non-discriminatory hate” or “inclusive bigotry.”    

In other news, the Calgary Stampede turned literal this week after multiple carnival-goers were stabbed in a targeted attack. 

Happy Friday.

- Peter

Today’s read is 3 minutes long. ⏰ 

ALLEGED

HATE CRIME SUSPECTED IN SMALLTOWN GRAFFITI

This story was supposed to appear in last week’s edition, but I was too busy talking to lawyers and cops to write it. I’m sure you can understand. 

A couple of weeks ago, police were notified of hateful graffiti spray-painted in a small-town baseball diamond just east of Grand Bend. 

During their investigation, the OPP found a swastika on a picnic table, the n-word on a porta potty, and other obscenities. 

Shocked and appalled, the local OPP detachment forwarded the case to the OPP Hate Crime Unit. 

Smalltown Graffiti contacted the local OPP detachment and asked for more information on the crime.

They were surprisingly receptive. 

“I’m sorry, what is the name of your outlet again?” asked a female receptionist over the phone. 

“Smalltown Graffiti,” I said. “We cover stuff like this.” 

“Oh, I see. Our communications director is eating his lunch, but he will call you as soon as he is back.” 

“Thank you.” 

I held all my calls for the rest of the day, but he never rang me back. Go figure. 

Instead, the OPP moved ahead with its investigation and spoke exclusively to mainstream media outlets concerning it. 

Police told CTV News that—surprise, surprise—“several young persons” vandalized the ball diamond, but nothing the kids painted met the threshold of a hate crime.

Police reprimanded the youths and warned them not to repeat their naughty behaviour.

Smalltown Graffiti contacted the OPP and asked what form(s) of corporal punishment they used to reprimand the youths. Surely they didn’t let these urchins off scot free?

The police did not reply, so we followed up and informed them that multiple studies have proven spanking to be an effective deterrent for petty, racially motivated hate crimes. 

The OPP did not respond before publication time. 

KIDS THESE DAYS

PIZZA PIZZA SWARMING IN OSHAWA

A gang of teenagers stormed a Pizza Pizza in Oshawa last week, jumped the counter, and brutally assaulted the restaurant’s female Muslim owner, say police. 

ALLEGEDLY!

It was around midnight on Canada Day, and the youths were looking to fill their bellies after a long evening of shooting fireworks at strangers. 

So they marched into the nearest Pizza Pizza and created what police called a “disturbance.” 

One of the kids hopped the counter and tried to steal some pizza slices and dips, but the restaurant’s owner stopped him. 

“A violent struggle ensued,” said Durham Police.

During that struggle, several other teens also jumped behind the counter to swarm, beat, and kick the woman. 

They took off without a trace. Police still can’t find them.

And now the National Council of Canadian Muslims (NCCM) is indignant. 

After the news broke, the NCCM held a press conference on Parliament Hill, urging the federal government to create more hate-crime policing units and extend funding for the federal Anti-Hate Grant so that “businesses facing hate” can claim it, too. 

The NCCM also found the daughter of the Muslim woman who owns the Pizza Pizza and gave her a few minutes to speak. 

The daughter (who did not give her name) said the teenage attackers ripped off her mother’s hijab, stomped on her neck and back, and tore out “clumps of her hair.”

“The incident has left her scarred and extremely on edge,” she said. 

The entire attack was captured on tape by surveillance cameras, but police have not identified any suspects yet. 

The question remains: was this a hate crime or a hunger crime? 

I suppose it could be both. Extreme racism saps your energy and gives you a savage hankering for fast-food pizza—and vice versa—or so I’ve been told. 

It’s better to ask, Did these youths only attack the woman because she was Muslim? Or were they ready to murder anybody who stood between them and hot pizza last Monday night?

We’ll let the OPP Hate Crime Unit solve this one. 

CRIME

CALGARY STAMPEDE. LITERALLY.

For the first time in history, the Calgary Stampede has lived up to its name. 

A bunch of fake cowboys and political elites were mulling around the Calgary Stampede Midway on Tuesday evening when an unidentified terrorist stabbed three people and sent everyone running for the gates in a hellish frenzy. 

Just after 11 PM, police rushed to the Euroslide—a huge colourful slide that destroys your lower back unless you’re under 13 years old. 

They found a man with stab wounds writhing in pain at the bottom of the slide and cordoned off the area. 

Paramedics rushed the man to the hospital in “life-threatening, but stable, condition.” 

But the attacker wasn’t done yet. 

Police soon received two more calls about a teenager and a man bleeding out near the Midway. They had stab wounds similar to those found on the first victim.

Paramedics rushed them to the hospital in serious but stable condition. Police searched for clues. 

They determined that a sole stabber targeted all three victims, but they have no idea who he (or she?) might be. 

Police saw several unknown individuals filming the attacks on their smartphones, so they are waiting for video evidence to be posted online before continuing the investigation. 

In the meantime, police are warning Calgary Stampeders to arm themselves heavily before getting in line for the Euroslide.

_{(Source: CTV News)}