#50: MIDLIFE CRISIS 😈

🌎️ FOREIGN AFFAIRS - Canadian Doordasher arrested by ICE, sent to ‘Aligator Alcatraz’ for alleged tax evasion

🚓 CRIME - Hamilton man wanted for robbing people while posing as a cop

🏒 SPORTS - Ball hockey player arrested after allegedly assaulting referee

Good morning.

Smalltown Graffiti is 50 weeks old. 🎉

So it’s no surprise we are undergoing a midlife crisis, of sorts.

For a while now, I’ve been thinking of ending this project at 52 weeks and allowing it to become a relic of the internet—a yearlong examination of Canada at its strangest.

To be clear, I’m not asking you to beg me to keep going.

I’m just letting you know it’s on my mind so I don’t spring it on you in 2 weeks in case I do, indeed, decide to lay it to rest.

Thank you for being a loyal subscriber. 🙏

-Peter

⌛️ Today’s read is 2 minutes long.

A Canadian man with a green card working as Doordash driver in Florida was arrested by ICE in February and sent to the infamous “Aligator Alcatraz,” an immigration prison deep in the Florida Everglades.

Douglas Dixon, 61, moved to Florida from Montreal in 2005. The man raised his family in the Sunshine State and ran a smoothie shop to support himself. The shop went belly up during the pandemic, and Dixon started working as a Doordash driver.

He fell behind more than US$30,000 in unpaid taxes. In 2022, he was charged with tax evasion, to which he pleaded “no contest.”

Dixon agreed to pay the government in monthly instalments, and as of this year had paid back around $18,000 of the outstanding amount.

But since Dixon still owed around $12,000 to the government when he met with his probation officer in February, half a dozen ICE agents showed up and arrested him.

“I was dumbfounded,” he told CTV News in a phone interview. “I thought I was just going to a regular appointment.”

Dixon was shipped down to Aligator Alcatraz, where he was locked in what he described as “cage” with about 30 other men. The cage had 16 bunkbeds and two urinals.

After about 10 days at Aligator Alcatraz, Dixon was transferred to a smaller facility near Clewiston, Fla.

He was given an immigration hearing, and the judge ordered him to be deported back to Canada and barred from ever entering the US again.

His wife, children, and grandchildren remain in Florida.

_{Source: CTV News}

Police are searching for a man with a distinctive facial tattoo who posed as an undercover cop to rob two people in Hamilton on Monday morning.

The first incident occurred around 8 AM when the man called the first victim over to his black SUV. The man described himself as an undercover cop and told the victim that they matched the description of a suspect he’d been looking for.

He told the victim to hand over their wallet for identification purposes. They complied and he drove off with the wallet.

Less than two hours later, the man parked on the opposite side of town and called a second victim over to his car. The man once again said he was an undercover cop, but this time he told the victim they were being detained for stealing a bike.

The victim allowed the man to pat them down, during which he pulled their cellphone and debit card out of their pocket. The man told the victim he needed to place these items in an evidence bag in his car, and then he drove off.

The man is described as 25 year olds, approximately 5-foot-5 with a large build and short brown hair. He has a tattoo above his left eye and was last seen wearing a multi-coloured baseball cap, a colourful top, and black pants.

Hamilton Police are reminding the public that legitimate officers will clearly identify themselves and carry official warrant cards and badges.

A Hamilton man has been charged with assault after allegedly attacking a referee during a ball hockey game.

The 31-year-old was playing ball hockey at Rosedale Arena last Sunday evening when the referee made a call he disagreed with.

The man disputed the call and became angry with the referee.

He then allegedly assaulted the referee, although the gravity of the alleged assault has not been made public.

Police arrived at the arena around 7:30 PM and charged the man.

They are still investigating the incident and ask anyone with information to come forward.