#27: BOOMERCIDE IN BURGERLAND 🍔

🧓 RETIREMENT LIVING - One senior dead, another charged with manslaughter after fight in Calgary McDonald’s parking lot

🏠️ RENTAL LIVING - Sarnia man threatens to beat landlord’s handyman with brass knuckles

💲 COST OF LIVING - Theft surging at ‘pick-your-own’ farms across Ontario

Happy Halloween. 🎃 

And go Jays go. #WANTITALL

Crazy news, btw.

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Hope you enjoy today’s stories.

-Peter

⌛️ Today’s read is 2.5 minutes long.

I’ve never felt the warm embrace of American cultural hegemony so keenly as on one night several years ago when I, famished after 11 PM pickup hockey, devoured a Big Mac under the glow of the golden arches on a dark two-lane highway.

McDonald’s is a refuge at night. It’s also a bug light attracting drug addicts, weary human traffickers, and hordes of rowdy teenagers itching to yell racial slurs.

But during the day, McDonald’s is a boomer sanctuary—a place where retirees meet up for coffee with friends or duels with sworn enemies.

In Calgary last Tuesday, 76-year-old Kwok Leung Lau and 79-year-old Chiu Man Yuen began fighting in a McDonald’s parking lot at around 2 PM. Police arrived shortly after to break it up. Both men “declined medical attention and further police involvement.”

Then, at around 4 PM, police were called back to the same parking lot for reports of a man in “medical distress.” It was Lau.

Paramedics brought him to a hospital, where he died two days later. Police say Yuen and Lau knew each other.

At the time, police charged Yuen with aggravated assault, but later upgraded it to manslaughter after seeing the results of Lau’s autopsy.

Police are also looking for somebody who apparently “intervened” in the fight.

“We are looking to speak with that individual, along with any other witnesses to the altercation, to support the investigation,” they said.

I know I have some Calgary readers, so if you broke up a fight between two boomers last week at McDonald’s, I advise you to contact the cops ASAP.

A Sarnia man is facing charges after threatening to beat up his landlord’s handyman with brass knuckles.

On Oct. 23 at 4 PM, 65-year-old Davin Lindfors confronted a maintenance worker about a damaged cupboard door in his apartment.

An argument followed that quickly escalated into pushing and shoving, police say.

Lindfors then pulled out a pair of brass knuckles and “conveyed a clear desire to assault the worker with them.” In fact, he called 9-11 and told the cops he was going to do it.

Police arrived shortly after and arrested Lindfors. They also confiscated his brass knuckles.

After being taken into custody, Lindfors reportedly peed all over his cell.

“While in police custody, Lindfors expressed his displeasure by urinating all over his toilet-equipped cell, resulting in an additional charge of mischief being laid,” Sarnia Police said.

Lindfors is facing six charges. Sarnia police say this was their 53rd interaction with him since November 2024, including 4 arrests and 11 charges.

A Bowmanville farmer is introducing new security measures to crack down on apple thieves at her “pick-your-own” orchard.

The new measures include security guards to monitor customers as they pick and prohibiting strollers for anyone without kids.

“We are seeing customers come in with reusable bags and folding them into their pockets and then when they’re out in the orchard, filling them and trying to leave without paying for them,” Jessica Farmer, co-owner of Maple Grove Orchards, told CTV Your Morning.

“We have, unfortunately, seen customers put them in strollers and wagons—overfilling it—just trying to take as much as they can without paying for it.”

Farmer says they’ve lost $20,000 of product to thieves this year alone, adding that one customer almost stole 150lbs of apples in his trunk.

“These are mass thefts,” she said.

A Caledon farmer is dealing with the same problem.

“I have farmed and sold produce for 30 years and yes, theft is an issue that has always existed, but has increased sharply in recent years,” Scott Lunau, owner of Albion Orchards in Caledon, ON, told CTV.

“Some of the worst offenders are young mothers who use their baby strollers as theft-enabling vehicles, and come prepared to load their carriages with apples and hide the theft using blankets, diaper bags, etc.”

Lunau says it’s getting so bad that he’s considering ending his “pick-your-own” service.

“This farm has operated since 1967, but I am no longer interested in dealing with the general public when it comes to selling my produce,” he said.