🎥 CAUGHT ON VIDEO - Internet descends on Peterborough teen filmed hurling racial slurs in grocery store parking lot

🚓 CRIME - Naked bicycle thief lands Hamilton man in hospital

🚗 CARS - This 2022 Toyota Highlander with Ontario plates could be yours for just ₦50,000,000

Happy Friday. I have good news.

Smalltown Graffiti has an app (sort of).

It’s the ONLY PLACE where you can comment and engage with other readers (sort of).

Here’s how you can get it:

1. Visit smalltowngraffiti.ca.

2. Click the share button at the bottom of your screen:

   

3. Scroll down and select “Add to Home Screen.”

4. Click “Add” and start reading!

   

See you in there.

-Peter

🎥 CAUGHT ON VIDEO 🎥

MOB JUSTICE FOR PETERBOROUGH TEENS

Three Peterborough teenagers have been kicked off their hockey team and publicly shamed after one of them hurled racial slurs at a man in a grocery store parking lot.

Only one of them has been charged: 18-year-old Wyatt Clarke from the Kawartha Lakes. Police say he uttered threats to cause death or bodily harm.

The video evidence appears to confirm it:

The driver of the truck is Ryerson Fuller and his passenger is Robert Kirkpatrick, according to Smalltown Graffiti subscriber John-Paul Gainey.

Instagram sleuths weren’t far behind John-Paul:

Internet lynchings are violent and quick. Within 48 hours, the boys’ employers had released statements denying wrongdoing.

John’s Quality Auto Service in Lindsay, which employs Kirkpatrick, released a long-winded statement about its “ongoing commitment to maintaining a respectful and inclusive workplace.”

Fuller Roofing Co. made its Instagram page private.

At the time of publication, Kirkpatrick and Clarke had deleted their Instagram pages. Fuller still had two.

Clarke is due in court Sept. 16.

🚓 CRIME 🚓 

NAKED BIKE THIEF IN HAMILTON

A Hamilton cyclist was biking to his sister’s house on a Sunday in July when a naked man ran him down, knocked him off his seat, and took his bicycle.

The cyclist, Jerry Santucci, lay on the ground bruised and bloodied as he watched the naked man pedal away.

“I’m thinking, ‘Where is this guy coming from?’ It’s all industrial,” Santucci told The Hamilton Spectator.

The 67-year-old stayed in Hamilton General Hospital for six days over concerns of internal bleeding due to low hemoglobin. He required over a dozen stitches on his face.

He was travelling at 20 km/h when he saw the naked man running on the right-hand shoulder of the road in an industrial area of town.

So he crossed over to the left-hand side to avoid the man.

“All of a sudden, he just came across and hit me and knocked me off my bike,” said Santucci.

The naked thief didn’t get far. Police apprehended him within minutes.

Turns out, they’d been tracking this guy for a while.

Earlier that day, he allegedly assaulted someone with a baseball bat on the east side of town and tried to jump on a vehicle in a parking lot.

The 34-year-old is charged with two counts of assault, robbery, mischief, and failure to comply with a probation order.

Santucci’s local bike gang—The Daredevil Cycling Group—is raising money for his recovery.

So far, they have raised $845 of their $7,500 goal.

Santucci reportedly spent an hour sanitizing his bicycle seat after picking it up from the police station.

 🚗 CARS 🚗 

WHAT A STEAL!

On the market for a reliable SUV?

This 2022 Toyota Highlander—complete with Ontario plates—could be yours for just ₦50,000,000 (Nigerian naira).

That comes out to around $45,000 CAD.

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Hurry, this offer won’t last long…

Toyota Highlanders are in high demand by suburban soccer moms and the Taliban.

Enjoy your weekend.

-Peter